Remember and Cry
by Doctor-River
Summary: I thought of this story when I considered how River met the Doctor and I decided to make it as 2 stories: how they remember and what happened in the flashback. Hope it's not too confusing for you and enjoy...


Doctor Who Story: Remembrance

**A/N: **This story is set past all of my others so far and it is all about how The Doctor met River and I added in Jack for fun. This story is sort of like 2 in 1 thats why some is in Italic so you don't get too confused. Enjoy!

The Doctor and River were inside the TARDIS, they weren't travelling anywhere in particular, just on an outing. River was wearing a deep black vest with a blue cardigan and jeans, casual. The Doctor was at the controls pressing some buttons and looking at the screen whilst River was sitting on the chair by the control panel watching her husband work. "Doctor, my love..." River began.

"Yes..." The Doctor replied in a chime.

"Can we go somewhere romantic and isolated?" she asked. "...just you, and me?" she continued in a slow and seductive voice as she stood up and walked behind the Doctor and put her arms around his neck tenderly. The Doctor looked at her and grinned.

"Well, I don't see why not. But, let's make it a mystery..." he smirked trying to persuade her to let him have a little fun as well as a romantic time together. River rolled her bright green eyes in acceptance and regret.

"Fine then, just no monsters." She added, rolling her eyes.

"Ok then... for you, no monsters, no danger, no potential deaths." He promised. Then, he pressed some buttons and flipped a switch then the TARDIS was off to an unknown location.

As the TARDIS materialised River ran to the door, her blonde curls flowing behind and she pulled the doors open- excited. Suddenly, her face fell; she wasn't excited but, now shocked. The Doctor walked over behind her and put his arm around her waist. "What's wrong?" he knew that she wasn't too happy being here, wherever here is: it was an empty field with the sun beaming down, almost blinding them from everything around them... she meant isolated but, not this isolated or here in general...

"This is where it happened..." she began taking a small step out the TARDIS.

"What do you mean 'it'?" he was curious, she was more enigmatic than usual. He followed her outside and he was looking around, his neck twisting from one direction to another. She looked at him and she knew he was intrigued. She strolled over to him, gave him a quick kiss and sighed as his eyes begged her to tell him, so she gave in and she'd tell him something that she would've preferred to keep secret. After all, she does trust him with her life so she began slowly unravelling the story...

"Do you remember when we first met? You came and saved me from the nightmare that lurked in the dark of the museum." She started as she was remembering the whole event even though she wasn't sure if he experienced it yet.

"Of course I remember when we met." The Doctor replied. He began to remember...

"_Run!" A voice from the shadows called out as the thump of panicking feet echoed through the corridors of the dark museum. The lone night watchman stood, confused as he shone his torch ahead and saw a man wearing a suit with conversers running towards him._

"_Hey, what the hell are you playing at? Is this some kind of joke?" The night watchman asked. His deep, powerful voice echoed in the eerie corridor._

"_No... No joke. Seriously, there is a very dangerous... thing... there and you need to run if you want to live." The Doctor explained nearly out of breath._

"_What 'thing'?... Who are you?" The night watchman asked now running with the Doctor. He looked back trying to see the 'thing' but all he could see even with the torch light was a blur._

"_That 'thing' is a mutated Shadowlurker from the planet Lestonia. It has a very short temper and sees everything as a free meal. I don't know how it got on Earth; Lestonia is millions of miles away and no spacecrafts are allowed even in the atmosphere of the planet let alone taking a creature from it..." The Doctor explained. He looked at the night watchman up and down. "I'm the Doctor, by the way. Have we met before?" he asked scanning the night watchman's face closely._

_He smiled. "Doubt it; I usually remember people's faces when I see them. Jack Harkness at your service, I'm training to be a Time Agent after I leave here in a week." Jack said. The Doctor was surprised to see Jack for the first time. He nodded. "Shouldn't we save the introductions for later? We have to stop that mutant...Where's it gone?" Jack added, looking back down the corridor. He was slightly nervous._

"_Right, yes. Is there anyone else in the building? If there is, it probably picked up their scent and is now following them... it gave up on us as we were running and it sensed a free meal that wasn't on the run." The Doctor caught his breath back._

"_There's only one other person here that I know of besides us... the lead architect- Dr. River Song. Oh, we have to save her... she means the world to me, she's my best friend." Jack replied now desperate to stop the Shadowlurker. The Doctor wondered if River had met him yet, he was surprised to hear that Jack and River knew each other, and were quite good friends at that. He would have assumed that they would constantly bicker and fight. Jack started running, taking charge as he often did in the future. He knew exactly where River should be working; he just hoped that he would get there before the creature..._

"It's all still perfectly clear in my mind River..." The Doctor added. He was still unsure what this had to do with where they were. He looked around trying to familiarise himself with the surroundings. On the horizon, a few tall trees swaying in the breeze casted a silhouette against the bright blue sky as the Doctor stared at them. Was it important... well, it would be otherwise River wouldn't be explaining it now. "When Jack introduced us." He sighed, unhappy that Jack had to be there as he wasn't a big fan of Jack at times...

_They arrived in the offices and Jack was frantically searching for River, his feelings were strong for her. Just then, a young, confused and tired River Song emerged from a pile of paperwork and artefacts. "What now Jack, can't you see that I'm busy here?" she sighed with a yawn. "... And who's this then?" she added looking at the Doctor smiling seductively and gliding over to him. She looked so young, so beautiful. Her smile was always the most beautiful in the world, his hearts lit up._

"_Hi, I'm the Doctor, nice to meet you River." The Doctor smiled and shook her hand. He scanned the piles of paperwork and artefacts. "Now, tell me River... have you been working on anything to do with the planet Lestonia recently?" he added, hoping that this would be useful._

"_Um... yes, there was a space pod that crash-landed earlier this year that came from Lestonia's region and about a month ago there was an energy source leaking out of it so we had it quarantined since." She replied slowly waking up, holding her tired head in her hand._

"_I'll lead the way to the Quarantine unit." Jack said picking up his torch and walking ahead. The Doctor followed and River shortly after, she picked up a gun holster from the table and strapped it to her leg. She hid it with her long brown coat over her pale blue blouse and faded jeans._

_After awhile of walking, they reached one of the main corridors when, they heard big footsteps echoing up ahead, followed by the occasional growling and snarling. Jack came to a halt and so did the Doctor and River. The creature suddenly appeared in a blur of black, it stood ten feet tall with piercing red eyes and long, sharp claws with a large set of fangs and scaly skin; that was all that could be seen. Jack reached for a weapon but he realised that he didn't have anything apart from his baton which wouldn't be of much use. Just then, River ran in front of the Doctor and Jack sliding to a halt a few feet in front of the creature. Flowing behind her was her brown coat that revealed the holster around her slender leg. "Get back!" she yelled as she fired her gun at the creature. The whole corridor lit up as the blast travelled at lightning speed to the creature's chest. River wasn't hesitant when it came to fighting monsters, especially one that had been watching her every night for the past month._

"_You're the one who's been watching me and messing up my paperwork. Well, not anymore!" she said bravely, staring it in the eyes as it wobbled and keeled over with a thud._

"_What, why did you... you didn't need to kill it!" the Doctor stammered with slight anger. He stepped towards her and looked at the creature. "We could've sent it back without violence." He added. _

"_Calm down! It's on stun, sheesh." River replied twiddling the gun trigger around her finger._

"_Right, of course... sorry." The Doctor was embarrassed now. He cleared his throat and looked away. He should've known better, he should've known HER better- she was clever and wouldn't kill for just any reason. There was always a reason though, for River Song to kill someone even if it was just for 'fun', but this didn't seem like 'fun.' "Let's keep moving before it regains its strength." he added. They ran to the Quarantine unit and Jack opened the sealed door and led them inside._

"_Well Doctor, here's our Quarantine unit..." he said._

"_Brilliant, let me take a look at the space pod..." the Doctor excitedly said as he strolled over to the unit._

"_Be careful, you don't know if there is anything dangerous in there!" River warned him. He pulled out his Sonic Screwdriver and scanned the door of the unit. He looked at her with his traditional 'are you impressed?' expression. River just looked blankly at him; she thought he was expecting some sort of response so she nodded at him._

"_No threat in the pod. The energy release was the Shadowlurker's spirit escaping the Soul Containment Field of the pod, it wasn't dangerous, unless you breathe it in, and then the spirit becomes you... Now let's take a look inside..." The Doctor added. Jack and River looked at each other and followed the Doctor inside, slightly hesitant. The pod was cracked and the Doctor pulled off a panel at the front and looked inside..._

_It was full of controls and buttons. The Doctor used the Sonic Screwdriver to scan them and he pressed some of them._

"_Doctor, what are you doing?" Jack asked looking over his shoulder still shining the torch at the doorway in case the creature came back._

"_I'm resetting the pod's Soul Containment Field so that the creature's soul would be locked inside until it gets to the prison which I'm setting the co-ordinates for. Well, I think I'm doing it right." The Doctor replied pressing some more buttons._

"_...and what about the creature? We can't just leave it lying in the hallway." River added._

"_I thought about that and we need it here so I can get a Data Scan from its collar." The Doctor replied. River nodded, unsure how they were going to get the Data Scan, she and Jack watched him work. Jack shone his torch to the doorway._

"_Uh... Doctor, I don't think getting the Shadowlurker here is gonna be such a problem anymore..." Jack said. His eyes were fixed on the doorway._

"_Oh gosh..." River gasped. It was in the doorway standing tall and angry. The Shadowlurker was snarling at her and Jack. "It's here..." she said with a tremble in her voice._

"_Watch out!" the Doctor yelled from the Quarantine Room. The Shadowlurker came into the room and was heading towards River; she backed away until she bumped into a wall. She was scared, it knew her, it watched and tormented her since the moment it escaped the pod. Her legs were paralysed with fear. It raised its long claws and was ready to swipe when Jack heroically pushed her out of the way and took the hit down his right side and arm._

_River slid along the floor on her side and stopped a few feet away. The Doctor watched from the sealed glass window as he tried to work faster. He needed the collar and with his last ounces of strength Jack ripped it off the Shadowlurker's neck and threw it to the Quarantine Room before collapsing on the floor. The Doctor crept over to the door and grabbed the collar then sprinted back to the pod and continued working._

_At the side of the room, River was lying on her back in pain from the impact of the fall. Then she lifted her head up and saw Jack lying motionless on the floor and the Shadowlurker about to strike and she picked up her gun and aimed at the creature's chest then waited for it to turn to the right angle. "See you in hell..." she said fearlessly with a hint of rage. She fired with a glare at the creature, and then she dropped the gun on the floor beside her. The creature fell and lay still, silent. Was it dead this time? She struggled to stand up and with a wobble she was on her feet, she ran over to Jack, worried. "Jack! Are you ok?" she panicked, her bravery faded as she saw her best friend lying motionless in front of her. She placed her hands on his chest trying to get him to respond._

_The Doctor meanwhile set the co ordinates and the creature was teleported to the pod and it was sent into space- he was unaware if it was dead or not. He stepped out of the Quarantine Room and made his way over to River. She was kneeling next to Jack crying and her hands were stained with Jack's blood. The Doctor placed his hands on River's shoulders and she flinched in pain. The Doctor removed River's coat and un- done the first two buttons on her blouse so he could look at her shoulders where he touched them, they were bruised and red and so was her back; she was in great pain with bruised bones and friction burns. The Doctor closed his eyes and exhaled heavily to realise some Time Lord energy as he gently place his hands on River's face. They were glowing an amber colour as her bruising disappeared slowly and she felt better- no more stinging and aching. She looked at the Doctor for a long moment; she wasn't sure what to believe about what just happened. "Who are you, Doctor?" she whispered as she calmed down from the shock of finding Jack how he was and a tear streamed down her cheek. Her breathing became more regular again. The Doctor returned her gaze "... The greatest man you'd probably ever meet." He added in barely a tender whisper._

_The Doctor knew that Jack can't die here as his 'death' was set to be on Satellite 5 when he gets exterminated by a Dalek and brought back with immortality._

_Moments later, Jack woke and his wound was healed and the blood on River's hands was gone. She looked at her hands in disbelief; just a moment ago they were covered with blood and now, nothing. Jack's time was not yet. Their lives could return to normality... for now..._

"You asked me to travel with you a year later... but, there was something that happened before that and it was here and... and I think you should know." River said looking into the Doctor's curious eyes.

_1 year later..._

_Jack has been a successful Time Agent for nearly a year and was being assigned many missions. River was promoted to go other planets with an exploration team instead of staying on Earth. Jack's next mission: an enigmatic architect who loved to steal the treasure she found and keeps it for herself, not only that; she killed a very important man who got in her way after a grand theft. The description of the woman's appearance sounded familiar. "No... Why her?" he questioned. He had to arrest his best friend- River Song and imprison her to the Stormcage Facility, for the badest of bad criminals._

_In an empty field, River stood alone, waiting for someone. Jack approached her from the city on the horizon and smiled awkwardly. "Listen, I've got to tell you something... something important." Jack began seriously. River was confused. "My next mission is imprisoning a thief in the Stormcage Facility for stealing many artefacts worth millions and murdering a very important man who was a hero to many... and that thief and murderer is you, River." Jack added looking at her beautiful, innocent eyes. "Care to explain?" he asked raising his eyebrows. She just smiled slyly and bit her lip innocently._

"_You seriously aren't gonna arrest me, are you?" she asked, assuming that he wouldn't actually arrest her. No one believed her side of the story, time was re-written so that they all forgot what happened and she was forced to live with the guilt of murder forever._

"_Yes..." Jack answered quickly, without any hesitation._

"_So you'd arrest your best friend and imprison them for all eternity in the Stormcage just because some guy told you to!" River angrily said taking a step towards Jack. Her patience was growing thinner and thinner. He backed away and nodded slowly, regretting it._

"_I cannot believe you! You choose your job over your friends." She was still enraged at him._

"_You broke the law, River... Repeatedly. And I'm sorry..." He hated making her upset and angry but, he had to do his job. "You must be punished for it, like everyone else who breaks the law." He added._

"_A career you work for and can earn back if you make a mistake but, your friends you have to treat right or they'll be gone forever... and you know what? You've just lost me..." she calmed down and turned away with tears in her eyes, she felt betrayed and unwanted. Jack was the only one she felt she could trust forever; and he betrayed her, just like everyone else she'd met so far._

"_River..." Jack sighed. He had lost his best friend all because of his new job. River walked on nearly crying. She was going in the opposite direction to the city- she was heading to her hideaway on the outskirts of the forest at the other end of the field. Shortly she arrived outside and opened the door to her countryside cottage. She would rather be at her home in the city but here was the only place she could be away from Jack. Just then, she heard a bizarre noise then a strange blue box materialised in front of the cottage and the Doctor who saved her a year earlier emerged._

_River ran to the door and flung it open to see what it was and all that was in front of her was a blue Police Box and the mysterious man with the same face. She was confused and stunned; River was still upset but put on a smile for the Doctor._

"_Sorry, am I interrupting?" he asked smiling._

"_No... No." She replied. "... Not at all." She leaned her shoulder on the doorway and looked at the floor. _

"_Are you sure? You seem a bit down in the dumps." He asked trying to look in her eyes that kept wondering to the floor._

"_Yeah... I just haven't been doing much lately." She shrugged her shoulders and pulled her pale blue cardigan over her chest and folded her arms. Her white summer dress was flowing in the breeze across her knees. She tossed her loose blonde curls behind her shoulder and forced a smile._

_The Doctor returned the smile. "I was wondering if you would like to come and travel with me, I was gonna ask sooner but, something else came up." He offered._

"_I would love too." She added. Then she realised what he said after that didn't quite make sense. "But, what 'something' could've taken a year to do?" she asked._

"_A year? I thought that it has only been a couple of weeks..." he was shocked then he noticed the confused look on River's beautiful face. "Oh, yeah. My TARDIS travels in time and space, we can go anywhere and anywhen as long as it's amazing. You up for it?" he grinned._

"_Definitely." She returned the grin now feeling happier that someone appreciates her. The Doctor led her into the TARDIS. "Wow, it's so beautiful." She gasped running her fingers along the control panel. The Doctor stood in the doorway smiling at her as his eyes looked at her up and down. She turned on her feet and looked at the Doctor with a questioning look on her face. "Doctor, who are you? I mean, I felt as if I had known you for years and I trusted you completely. It's weird but, I dunno how to explain it. Without thinking, I trusted you with my life, you helped me a year ago and you healed my wounds without any medical tools and as far as I know, no human can do that." She explained. She raised an eyebrow and smiled._

"_Well, let's just say I'm the greatest man you've ever met, River Song..." he smiled as he repeated the words he said to her a year ago. "But, where I go where trouble goes... well, often trouble goes where I go... and..." he started as he ran his fingers through his hair._

"_... Ssh. Spoilers." River interrupted as she walked over to him and pressed a finger on his lips to silence him. He just nodded._

The Doctor looked at her, shocked to hear a secret story about River and Jack. "That's what happened? I'm... I'm so sorry River. I never knew. Um, we can go if you like." The Doctor comforted her. She looked at him and nodded quickly. They turned around and started walking back to the TARDIS when a figure approached them. The sunlight made him blurry until he was in front of the Doctor and River.

"It's you." River gasped. Jack was standing tall and well- presented in front of her. She glared "What are you doing here? I can't stand the sight of you, not now. Not ever..." she angrily glared, narrowing her eyes. The Doctor put his arm on River's shoulder, she clenched her fists. "Go, before I do something I'll regret." She said threateningly. She reached for her gun strapped to her leg and aimed it at Jack's head with her finger on the trigger.

"I'm not here for trouble, just to warn you that every Ace agent is on the lookout for you and WILL kill you if you put up a fight..." Jack calmly said.

"Why are you helping me? I've broken the law, repeatedly. Shouldn't you be arresting me now? Unless someone else has stolen the Number One Most Wanted 'Dead or Alive' spot..." River sarcastically moaned. Her grip tightened on the gun.

"No, I changed my mission at the Agency so now I only work on disturbances in time, not the criminals anymore. I'm Captain of the Time Inspectors Agency." He added. River was still enraged and her fierce gaze struck Jack, he was feeling guilty but, he also thought that River was the one who repeatedly broke the law so it is her fault they are in the current predicament of hatred too.

"Look, violence isn't going to solve anything! River, put the gun away and Jack, stay away from her as I might not always be here to sort this out, ok?" The Doctor interrupted the glares, trying to reason with both of them. River looked at him, his calm eyes neutralised her burning anger. She lowered the gun, still looking deeply into her lover's eyes- almost apologetically. She turned away and held her head in her hand, unsure what to think or do right now. Jack leaned over to the Doctor and gave him a small bottle with a liquid in.

"Give this to her and she'll forget all about me, all the pain I've caused her. Next time she sees me, I'll just be the man with a familiar face..." Jack whispered to him.

"Jack, I don't think..." The Doctor began.

"Doctor, please. I love River so much that I don't want to hurt her again. She will never remember me and the pain I brought her, she will always have a place in my heart, and I... will have never existed in hers... She deserves a good life... with you, the one she married, for the right reason." Jack pleaded.

The Doctor nodded. "If you want me to do this, I will. But, I won't like it." He regretted agreeing to it.

Jack just walked away showing no emotion. He did have feelings for River, he still does but will she forgive him? Only time will tell as he disappeared into the distance...

The Doctor offered River a drink of water, and he was contemplating whether he should add the potion.

"River, I'll make it up to you. I'm sorry about bringing you here, I didn't know..." The Doctor began when they arrived back into the TARDIS. He ran his hands down River's curves and stopped at her waist. She placed her hands on the Doctor's chest.

"I know." She whispered. The Doctor nodded and flipped a switch on the control panel of the TARDIS and it flew off into space. River was standing next to him, frozen in thought. She took a sip of the water to clear her mind.

"You ok?" The Doctor asked placing one of his hands on River's face gently stroking her with his thumb and placed the other hand around her waist.

"Jack is just so selfish; he only considered his job over me." She sighed. "... Other than feeling like an idiot for trusting him, I'm fine." She snapped sarcastically.

"Well... he didn't want to hurt you like he did all those years ago, so he asked me to give you a memory erasing potion so you'd forget about him, he'd just be a familiar face to you. His last words before he left were: I love you River, I never wished to hurt you and I know I did wrong and I'm sorry. Now, you don't have to feel the pain anymore. But, please remember the good times we had and they will always remain in your heart, as you will always remain in mine..." he read from a note Jack handed to him. He paused for a moment to let River take it in.

"So, I just drank the potion and now I'll completely forget about him?" she asked, shocked. The Doctor just nodded and he was feeling her pain. She dropped the glass on the floor and it smashed into tiny pieces, as she gasped with horror and guilt.

"It comes into effect an hour after you drink it so, if you want to have some memory of him- it will only be little though. You have to think about all the times you want to vaguely remember when the hour is up... It's up to you to remember as you only had a small dose..." The Doctor said as he walked over to his wife and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. He kissed her on the forehead.

Then her emotions finally overpowered her strong will and she broke down into tears and she sobbed whilst in the Doctor's warm hold. He gently pulled her head to his chest and hugged her comfortingly. The tears just kept rolling down her cheeks as she cried and it made the Doctor's hearts ache. He knew there was nothing he could do but let her release her emotions after leaving them bottled up for so long. He has been with River for a long time now and their relationship has developed greatly and they are now married, but this was the first time he had ever seen River this upset. She has finally revealed her true self, no more mysteries or enigmas- this is the honest, no spoilers, River Song who has revealed all to the greatest man she's ever known.

"You will always have someone to comfort you, and I made that commitment to you when we got married... You know that there is more than one person who will always trust you and depend on you, River- the most amazing woman I've ever met..." The Doctor calmly said to River as she wept.

The hour was almost up and the memories of Jack were slowly being erased from her mind apart from the ones she tried to hold on to. She cried for him as she felt his guilt inside of her, every time she is reminded of him, she can't help it. This was the one secret the Doctor had to keep from her, he didn't want his wife to feel the pain all over again, but just letting her vaguely remember Jack made him feel bad, he just stood holding River and letting her cry Jack a sea of tears, sorrow and regret...


End file.
